If you see my daughter, tell her that Christopher Meloni called.
She'll understand.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Who Sings That?
The game went like this:
LAUREN
(singing along with radio)
NICOLE
Who sings that?
LAUREN
Avril Lavigne.
NICOLE
Can we please let her do it?
After a few rounds, it turned into this:
NICOLE
Who sings that?
LAUREN
Me.
NICOLE
No, seriously. Who is that on the radio?
LAUREN
Me.
NICOLE
Who recorded this song?
LAUREN
I did.
We played the game for a couple of years. And then it happened.
A few weeks before she left for boot camp, Lauren was riding in a car with her recruiter and another Marine. The radio was on.
LANCE CORPORAL
Who sings this?
LAUREN
(tentatively)
Me.
LANCE CORPORAL
(turning around to look at her)
Did you just say "Me"?
LAUREN
Yeah.
LANCE CORPORAL
Why?
LAUREN
Uh, my mom and I have this game where we try to get the other person to say who it is, and then we say to let them sing it.
LANCE CORPORAL
That's dumb.
I love my daughter. I love that she tells me this stuff! The only thing that made it better was that she had a big crush on the Lance Corporal.
LAUREN
(singing along with radio)
NICOLE
Who sings that?
LAUREN
Avril Lavigne.
NICOLE
Can we please let her do it?
After a few rounds, it turned into this:
NICOLE
Who sings that?
LAUREN
Me.
NICOLE
No, seriously. Who is that on the radio?
LAUREN
Me.
NICOLE
Who recorded this song?
LAUREN
I did.
We played the game for a couple of years. And then it happened.
A few weeks before she left for boot camp, Lauren was riding in a car with her recruiter and another Marine. The radio was on.
LANCE CORPORAL
Who sings this?
LAUREN
(tentatively)
Me.
LANCE CORPORAL
(turning around to look at her)
Did you just say "Me"?
LAUREN
Yeah.
LANCE CORPORAL
Why?
LAUREN
Uh, my mom and I have this game where we try to get the other person to say who it is, and then we say to let them sing it.
LANCE CORPORAL
That's dumb.
I love my daughter. I love that she tells me this stuff! The only thing that made it better was that she had a big crush on the Lance Corporal.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Baby Naming 101: How Does It Flow?
A friend of a friend was pregnant with her second child. She planned to name the baby Talia if she had a girl. When talking about her expanding family, she mentioned some future event with "Jen and Talia."
Again, for emphasis, "Jen and Talia."
She immediately sought a new name.
Again, for emphasis, "Jen and Talia."
She immediately sought a new name.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Riding the (Decidedly Un-PC) Short Bus
The following exchange occurred a few days after Lauren started a new high school.
NICOLE
You ride the short bus.
LAUREN
(exasperated)
It's a short route!
NICOLE
(laughing)
No way! You DO ride the short bus!
No, I had no idea, nor would I ever have known if she hadn't given it up.
NICOLE
You ride the short bus.
LAUREN
(exasperated)
It's a short route!
NICOLE
(laughing)
No way! You DO ride the short bus!
No, I had no idea, nor would I ever have known if she hadn't given it up.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Clucking to the Oldies
Aside from the “How much longer?” routine, the radio station battle might be one of the biggest sources of strife between parent and child on road trips. Or trips across town. While Lauren and I shared some musical interests, too much time dedicated to her favorite stations (or singers) tended to make my ears tired.
Even after she was old enough to drive, the battles continued when we were in the car together. Because at some point it is every mother’s job to thoroughly annoy her children, I began to cluck like a chicken along with her music, from time to time. This generally produced something between a look on her face that said, “My mom really is nuts,” and outright protest, “Knock it off!”
Each time, I told her that the melodic clucking was really fun and urged her to join me.
“Um, that’s okay,” was always her reply.
And then it happened.
Lauren was driving us somewhere, we were listening to agreed-upon music, and she said, “I really don’t see what’s so fun about the whole chicken thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The chicken thing. That clucking thing you do.”
“What about it?”
“I tried it the other day when I was driving to the mall, and I just couldn’t figure out what you get out of it. I didn't think it was that fun.”
The mental image of her sitting in the car clucking tentatively to her music made me laugh until I hurt.
Thank you, Lauren. Thank you for always giving yourself up when you take the bait. What’s a setup without a payoff?
Even after she was old enough to drive, the battles continued when we were in the car together. Because at some point it is every mother’s job to thoroughly annoy her children, I began to cluck like a chicken along with her music, from time to time. This generally produced something between a look on her face that said, “My mom really is nuts,” and outright protest, “Knock it off!”
Each time, I told her that the melodic clucking was really fun and urged her to join me.
“Um, that’s okay,” was always her reply.
And then it happened.
Lauren was driving us somewhere, we were listening to agreed-upon music, and she said, “I really don’t see what’s so fun about the whole chicken thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The chicken thing. That clucking thing you do.”
“What about it?”
“I tried it the other day when I was driving to the mall, and I just couldn’t figure out what you get out of it. I didn't think it was that fun.”
The mental image of her sitting in the car clucking tentatively to her music made me laugh until I hurt.
Thank you, Lauren. Thank you for always giving yourself up when you take the bait. What’s a setup without a payoff?
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Top 5 Reasons My Daughter is My Hero
5. Funky Shoes
As a child, Lauren proudly wore loud, funky shoes, even if classmates laughed. She gave me the courage to be a little bolder.
4. Ridiculously Dark Eyeliner
As a teen, she was never afraid to overdo the eye makeup, even when I suggested she'd fallen for the old sooty binocular trick.
3. Discussing Mistakes
Lauren has always been willing to talk about her mistakes to people she thought might learn from them.
2. Making Her Dreams Happen
At 10, she wanted to become a Marine. At 18, she did.
1. Making Others' Dreams Happen
She knew she wasn't ready to have a child; she had him for people who were.
Monday, May 4, 2009
True Lies
A friend said Lauren should start a blog, Lies I Told My Mother, with a series of one-line posts:
"I went to all of my classes today."
"I’m going to Melissa’s house to watch The OC."
"My friends and I are going to In-N-Out."
"I already finished my homework."
"I went to all of my classes today."
"I’m going to Melissa’s house to watch The OC."
"My friends and I are going to In-N-Out."
"I already finished my homework."
Something like this, published anonymously, would likely ring true for far more people than I'd care to imagine.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Accidental Culture
A few years ago, one of my middle school students said something about Billy Elliot—he was probably reading a computer banner ad aloud—and a particularly rough eighth grade boy said, “I’ve seen that movie.”
Aware of the danger of biased assumptions, but still thinking that it was highly unlikely, I said, “You’ve seen Billy Elliot?”
“Yeah.”
“The British film?”
“Yeah,” said Vincent*, “the one about the kid that sneaks off to take ballet when his dad thinks he’s learning to fight.”
I asked him what he thought of it, expecting him to denigrate it somehow.
“It was a really good movie. I liked it.”
“It was a good movie. I’m really glad you enjoyed it.”
Now, I was seeing this kid through a slightly different lens, but something still didn’t fit.
“Did you watch it on HBO?”
“No, I got it from the video store.”
“Well, I’m really glad to hear you were willing to check out something new.”
“Yeah.” He was beaming at the unexpected adoration. And then, not realizing that it was a confession of sorts, he said, “I checked out Billy Madison, but someone accidentally put Billy Elliot in the box.”
I laughed out loud. “Did you notice before you put it in the DVD player?”
“No.”
And so it is that one of my most precious teaching memories is the mental image of Vincent, sitting on the couch with microwave popcorn, expecting Adam Sandler, uttering, “What the…?” and then shrugging and watching the movie anyway.
* Not his real name.
Aware of the danger of biased assumptions, but still thinking that it was highly unlikely, I said, “You’ve seen Billy Elliot?”
“Yeah.”
“The British film?”
“Yeah,” said Vincent*, “the one about the kid that sneaks off to take ballet when his dad thinks he’s learning to fight.”
I asked him what he thought of it, expecting him to denigrate it somehow.
“It was a really good movie. I liked it.”
“It was a good movie. I’m really glad you enjoyed it.”
Now, I was seeing this kid through a slightly different lens, but something still didn’t fit.
“Did you watch it on HBO?”
“No, I got it from the video store.”
“Well, I’m really glad to hear you were willing to check out something new.”
“Yeah.” He was beaming at the unexpected adoration. And then, not realizing that it was a confession of sorts, he said, “I checked out Billy Madison, but someone accidentally put Billy Elliot in the box.”
I laughed out loud. “Did you notice before you put it in the DVD player?”
“No.”
And so it is that one of my most precious teaching memories is the mental image of Vincent, sitting on the couch with microwave popcorn, expecting Adam Sandler, uttering, “What the…?” and then shrugging and watching the movie anyway.
* Not his real name.
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