But I'm Sure This Has Happened to You

Comedian Steven Wright says, "Yesterday I... No, that wasn't me." It's funny. It was supposed to be funny. It came immediately to mind when I overheard the following in a restaurant:

"Remember when were going through the separation and Joe* came over with a gun and threatened Nancy* and me? No, wait, that wasn't him."

Seriously? How many exes have come around waving guns at this woman?

* Names have been changed.

Shortest-Term Memory Ever

The following exchange took place last year between the mother of a lacrosse player and the father of another player.

WOMAN
Nice to see you! I'm sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

MAN
Tom.

WOMAN
Paul?

MAN
Tom.